Parenting Part I: The Good Parent

What makes a parent - a good parent? Is it making sure your child eats enough broccoli or vegetables? Or is it by establishing a rigid bedtime routine by 8 o'clock every night? And making sure they say prayer before they go to sleep? Short answer: No - this does not make a parent - a good parent and if you don't partake in these rituals you are certainly not a bad parent either.

A good parent is a parent who loves their child with every ounce of their being. A good parent is someone who likes to spend time with their child doing as many meaningful things as possible, like camping and hiking and reading to them at night. A good parent is someone who wants the very best for the child. A good parent is someone who wants to prepare their child for the world and convey realistic consequences. AND a good parent is not manipulative and never withholds their approval for the sake of control.

A good parent will make countless mistakes (as no one is perfect) but that said, a strong character trait of a good parent is to admit/recognize their mistakes or wrong doings and then apologize. Also, forgiveness and love needs to be practiced and demonstrated as much as possible.

Parents have one chance with each child and once that child is grown - their window has closed. Sometimes Grand-parents feel bad for the normal mistakes they made raising their own children and look at Grand-parenting as a second chance at doing things differently. The only problem with this approach is they tend to undermine the actual parent (their child) treating them as if they are still a child and treating their grandchild as a sibling to their child - instead of a 'Grand Child". This can be very dangerous and confusing to Grandchild and very disrespectful and hurtful to the actual parent who is trying to raise their child. It also deprives the parent of the respect and their parental rights.

Teaching children to respect their parents is not emphasized and encouraged like it was decades ago. Respect needs to be taught and practiced more. A good rule of thumb, if you are not the parent of the child, know your place by respecting this and do NOT presume as though that authority is your right unless you are the parent. The best demonstration of a non-parent (grand parent or family member) is for that person to support the actual parent and their wishes by honoring these boundaries and deferring to the parent when possible - this sends a healthy message to the child.

Here is a great link on Positive Parenting.